Griffith Park Train and Pony Rides

TRAIN RIDE




Do you have a tiny Thomas fiend in your home? Do the words 'All Aboard!' bring unbridled glee to you little one? Then consider this Los Angeles outing a pilgrimage for your tot, one that you may end up making monthly, even weekly (daily for the truly devout). It's been here since 1948, isn't it time you discovered it?

Upon arriving you will see a minuscule train station.




This is where you purchase tickets.

• $2 passengers over 15 months
• Daily 10:30am-5pm
  

Wait for the train, and after sitting on the tiny wooden seats just big enough for one big person accompanied by a tiny one, hear the familiar words: 'ALL ABOARD!!!!' The clinging of the bells, the revving of the engine (alas a diesel not a steam engine, smart passengers take the caboose-far away from the smells of burning fuels)



Before you know it you and your child are whisked into a land of childhood whimsy.

On my first trip my new 2-and-a-half-year-old charge turned to me and she said 'Jenny will you sit next to me? It will be ever so much fun!' And in that moment it didn't seem strange at all. It seemed like just the thing one should say when embarking on a miniature train ride.

You will go past a water tower...make sure to wave hello to the duck and squirrel figurines.



Soon you'll be transported through a wooded area and past a meadow.



Then you will cross an impressive red bridge.





Next the choo-choo will travel past ponies and through a tunnel where everyone will hoot and holler while the train whistle toots.

After emerging from the tunnel you will see a small red caboose with a little dummy of a man inside. Go on, wave hello.

Just when you think you've seen it all you'll head through the western facade of 'Grffith Gulch' make sure to look down the hill at the 'Jail'

Then head around the bend and you'll find some deer figurines and a tiny dwarf figurine coming out of a tunnel (hello digger!) Finally you'll see some rascally raccoon figurines before heading back into the station (yes I know, they certainly have utilized the garden figurine here!)


After a ride (or 5) you may want to mosey on over to the pony rides. Just walk to the right and you're sure to find them in the same compound.

There is a food stand serving carnival quality concoctions one the way. It's offerings include a large selection of ice cream novelties which they prominently display on a chart in the window. So if you aren't planning on buying any for your little sugar fiend I recommend walking fast coupled with a well-timed distraction ('Wow is that a water fountain! Cool!')

Next to the concession stand lurks one of the most disgusting bathrooms I've ever ventured into. There is no changing table (bring your portable cushy pad, or that handy sarong and scope out a secluded bench) There is hardly ever toilet seat covers (and oh how you wish there were!) Once on a whim I bought the Charmin on the go toilet seat covers in the travel size section at Target. This is the one and only place I've ever used them. And there is hardly ever soap, so keep those baby wipes or sanitizing hand gel handy.

PONY RIDES



This is the granddaddy of outings in Los Angeles. A chance for your urban child to unleash a little 'yee-haw'

Word to the wise: This is not a country club atmosphere. It is an ancient place with ancient ponies. The workers have always been courteous, kind, and helpful. But I go on the weekdays when it is not busy at all. The weekends are very busy. Expect to wait 30 min+

The ticket counter is located next to the pony rides.

• $3/ride (yup it went up in price)
• Tue-Sun 10am-4pm
  

Babies can be strapped on to the smallest, safest ponies as soon as they can sit up. A merry-go-round type contraption keeps the ponies going in a small circle, and parents are allowed to walk next to their children, or stand immediately outside the track.

The other pony rides are as close to real horseback riding as a toddler can get. Actually you're first time out you may be a bit shocked at how LARGE the pony ring is, and how your little one is strapped in and then transported about 50 yards away from your protective arms. This is always surreal with the youngest buckaroos (12 months old)

Although there are different levels of ponies, the tickets are universal. They must be used on the same day of purchase. But if after one look your child decides that the cowboy life isn't for him, you can explain and the helpful staff will refund the cost of the ticket. If you're planning on consecutive rides buy the tickets now, then as your little one is heading in from his second time around you hold up your ticket and say 'one more' and the workers will send him around without even needing to head in for a breather. You'll hear lots of€ moms shouting across the distance

'Do you want to go again? Again? One more time? Okay! Again? One more time?'

Parents are not allowed to help their child on or off the ponies (or come into the gated ring area) so if your toddler is going through some separation anxiety issues you might want to pass on this one, as it entails passing him off to a perfect stranger's arms to be hoisted onto a strange beast and carried far far away from you.

SLOW PONIES
12 months +
The slow ponies are painstakingly slow. Like uber slow. Even more so when they stop in the middle of the ride to relieve themselves on the track starting a 4 pony pile up (hey our kids are from LA they need to learn about gridlock earlier than their suburban counterparts) The slow ponies offer you the most bang for your buck. One ticket sends your little one around 2 times which takes on average 10 minutes.

MEDIUM PONIES
3 years old +
weighs less than 100lbs
The medium ponies are quite fast. Warn your child of this fact. Let them watch the other kiddos bounce wildly around the ring before they get on the pony. It is not unusual for a kid to return to the slow ponies. Not everyone finds the experience delightful. But I must tell you, the sight of their little bodies bouncing at a trotting pace is priceless. Bring the camera. Especially if your little girl has pig tails. Also as a side note please dress your kids in play clothes and leave the party dresses at home for this one. And be warned that they will be asked to remove any hats. Even that cute little cowboy hat you bought for the occasion.

BIG PONIES
7 years old +
taller than 48 inches but weigh less than 100 lbs
These ponies are the size of horses. They nearly gallop around the ring. But you won't have to worry about this for quite some time. Right now you're still coming to grips with the slow pony.

DIRECTIONS:
Take the Los Feliz Blvd. exit off the 5 Freeway, head west, and turn right into the Park entrance.

Or From Hollywood Surface streets: Cahuenga North, to Barham (right) to Forest Lawn (right) to Zoo Drive (right). Turn left at Travel Town, go past the zoo and carousel. Turn left at the sign for Train and Pony Rides.

Underwood Family Farm

I'm driving in the rain and see the crows up in the trees and wonder if they know there are better places to be a crow than this city.

Are they multi-generational city dwelling crows and know of nothing else? I feel strange urge to capture crows and liberate them. Perhaps take them to a nice cornfield in the countryside, or (worst case really) the god forsaken suburbs.

They seem so out of place in the sparse trees on highland, in the rain, with the cars rushing past and the bum hunched below them yelling obscenities to no one in particular and the 2 year old in my back seat pointing and saying 'pigeon'

I feel strange urge to liberate 2 year old child, take him to a nice cornfield in the countryside, or (worst case really) the god forsaken suburbs...

And this is when I know it's time to go to Underwood Family Farm in Moorpark.

I know what you're thinking. Moorpark! If I'm going to drive an hour this farm better be pretty darn spectacular. We could be at Disneyland in an hour. Disneyland! THE happiest place on earth you know.

But then again it takes 45 minutes to get from West Hollywood to Beverly Hills, and you make that trek every Tuesday morning for ballet class. Truth is that anywhere is LA takes at least 3o minutes. More realistically 45. So what's an hour to you and your seasoned traveler? I'll tell you what an hour is: the distance between you and the simple life, that's what.

Underwood Family Farm consists of a working farm where you can pick you own produce and a children's discovery animal center which is the main attraction for the under 5 set (who show a remarkable lack of interest in picking veggies)

It costs $3 to experience the animal center. Any child under the age of 2 is free. That's a mighty fine deal. But, of course, there is a catch. Tickets. Yes you have to buy tickets to experience many of the attractions. And then there's the cost of carrots to feed the animals. A resourceful person just might bring their own carrots. Back to the ticket issue. The prices are as followed:

5 for $5.00
11 for $10.00
18 for $15.00
25 for $20.00

100 for $65.00

Sounds fair enough. But then you find out how much the attractions cost:

Pony Rides - 4 Tickets
Tractor Drawn Wagon Rides - 3 Tickets
Electric Train Ride - 3 Tickets
Moonbounce- 3 Tickets
Trike Trail - 2 Tickets
Carrots - 1 Ticket

Now in the strictest confidence I must tell you that part of this farm is on the honor system. There is a box next to the moonbounce and trike trail where you insert the tickets. Do what you want with this information. As for the Pony, Tractor, and Train rides: yeah, definitely need tickets.

Have no fear, I am not sending you to a money pit. The fact is that your youngsters can have a heap of fun without a ticket.

Before you enter the animal center grab a complimentary wagon to tow your little one and gear. That's right! You don't need you stroller! Your kids get an authentic wagon ride (and those wagons are surprisingly easy to pull)

As you enter the animal center look up. Yup those are tiny goats on skinny beams 20 feet or so above your heads. Apparently these pygmy goats are only good at one thing: climbing. There is an elaborate trail of beams above your head between two goat pens, with little house on top in between. Watch the goats walk above your head but, uh, don't stand directly below them...you don't want the goat to leave you 'surprises'

The first goat pen is on your right. Now the first thing you're going to realize (besides the high up goats) is that you will not be able to pet any of these animals. Or feed them by hand. Each large animal pen consists of the main pen gate, 3 feet, and then another gate. But they have this nifty chute system for getting the carrots to the animals. And those little guys sure know how that works! They knock their hoofs against the metal tube expectantly. The big ones bullying the little ones out of the way (for this reason I've been known to chuck a carrot at the small one in back) Remember to snap apart the carrots into smaller pieces to make the fun last longer.

The reason for the caution: An E Coli break out in Europe in a petting zoo. Apparently Underwood Farm has taken a better safe than sorry position which I can appreciate. Of course, I went back when you could feed the goats directly through the gate and I was never quite comfortable with my little one's little fingers so close to those chompers where they could so easily been mistaken for baby carrots.

Behind the goat pen you will find a whimsical wooden kiddie train play area. This is great, an actual kid sized model of a train for them to climb on and explore and pretend on.

Behind the train is a GIANT HILL (okay to your 3 year old it's giant) With a tractor tire rimmed tunnel running through it, and a wooden pick up truck on top. Again lots of fun to be had. Running up the hill, rolling down, going through the tunnel, playing on the truck.

Next to the hill is where the Pig (and sometimes piglets) live. Again there's that chute system.

To the right of the Goat pen is the Trike Path. Basically a hay maze. These are not your usual trikes. These are monster trikes. Seriously. Large and fast (once you get them going, you'll have to push and scoot along with the little ones) There is no time limit on the weekdays so go at it!

Next to the Trike Path you'll find the moon bounce which is in the unfortunate shape of a cow lying on it's back with feet in the air. Yeah, I know. But kids love to bounce. As you know this space can get more than a bit rambunctious so be ready to get in there and intervene if body slamming commences.

Next to the moon bounce is the kiddie train, which is really nothing special (eerily similar to the safari train at the zoo) If it's a weekday you'll have to wait around for someone to wander over to run the train for you. Or you could always go ask someone at the ticket counter to help.

So to the left of the goat pen you'll find the ticket booth where you can also stock up on carrots and where you should go in case of a first aid emergency (but you have your handy first aid baggy in your diaper bag don't you?)

And you'll also find the pony ride. A corralled space with 4-5 well kept ponies. There is a 100 lb weight limit for the kids, and also a height requirement. It seems anyone over the age of 7 gets turned away. Which is a bummer.

The picnic area is next to the ticket booth. It's gated off, which is really helpful. There are no tables (which is not) So remember to pack a blanket (or the multi-tasking beach sarong) There are a couple of benches and plenty of shade. There are a couple of little tyke type plastic play equipment (steps and slides and tunnels) which will really only appeal to the under 3 set. There is also a large sand box/pit, fully stocked with big tractors (a big hit with my little guy) and a wooden play bus which is fun for any age. These wooden vehicles are so amazing. The craftsmanship and detail, the imaginative play they inspire.

Pack your own lunch but you may want to buy some fresh fruits and veggies from the farmers market stand located right before the entrance to the animal center. You will find a sink to wash your goodies if you go past the picnic area and animal pens (horses, cows, birds, bunnies) You'll see a GIANT HAY STACK that your kids can climb, the sinks are located behind the hay stack in a clearing right before the animal theater (sadly the theater is only open on weekends, which are also the craziest time to attend the farm...definitely more of a weekday adventure) Which brings me to my biggest issue with the farm. There are no bathrooms, only porto-poties. Which are clean, but dark and kinda scary to most kids. That said, you should bring a changing pad for those still in diapers and find a bench to do the job.

Next to the animal theater you'll see the donkeys, ducks, and most importantly a real Tractor the kiddos can climb all over. And then there's a tractor corral. With power wheel type tractors. You must exchange your tickets for tokens at the booth. The tokens power the tractors for more than a decent amount of time.

And that's the entire area. But it's easily a 2-3 hour event, including lunch. Your little city dwellers will be thrilled with the country life. And it really is a beautiful area.

If you go during October you're in for a treat. They have a fall festival complete with a pick your own pumpkin patch, corn maze, hay ride (by tractor or horses), there are carnival games and a pumpkin catapult, and all those wonderful fair foods like caramel apples. There is also a cowboy week during October complete with real stunt shows to thrill your little buckaroo.

All in all you'll be glad you moseyed on over to Underwood Family Farm. Sometimes you need a break from the hustle and bustle. And it's nice for your kid to experience the quieter life. Not that you'd ever live out there or anything.

HOURS
7 days a week
9am-6pm
call before you go:
(805) 529-3690

LOCATION
3370 Sunset Valley Road
Moorpark, CA 93021

101 N
CA - 23 N
Exit Tierra Rejada Rd
Left on Tierra Rejada Rd
Left Sunset Valley Rd





For more information go to:

www.underwoodfamilyfarms.com/AnimalCenterMoorpark.htm

TIME OUT: Urban Survival Pack

What you thought was just a diaper bag is in fact your sole ally as you venture into the great beyond known as Los Angeles.

You'll want just enough gear to make it through the day, but not so much that your shoulder gets dislocated from lugging it around. It's a balancing act we all struggle with.

Here is your new mantra:

Pack with purpose.

Of course depending on your little one's age you know the basics. You know to pack diapers and wipes (DUH), change of clothes, as well as a bottle for baby, sippy cup for toddlers, and enough snacks to survive the drive there and back.

Things to always remember:

1. Sunscreen - travel size bottle is more than enough unless you're trekking through the Sahara
   
2. Sarong - Super compact beach cover doubles as a picnic blanket, changing table cover, something to wrap around the radiator cap when your car overheats
   
3. First Aid Kit - Plastic baggie containing band-aids, antiseptic wipes, tweezers, infant/children's Tylenol, children's Pepto, thermometer
4. Plastic Grocery bags - essential for soiled/muddy clothes, diapers and shoes
   
5. Anti-Bacterial Hand Gel - For when the public restroom has no soap, or is too scary to fathom touching
6. Since you won't want to keep track of your purse and diaper bag (or lug both around) - Your fully charged cell phone, small wallet with a credit/debit card and some cash, and keys that are preferably on a lanyard around your neck or attached to the bag in some way.
   
7. Camera (as if I had to tell you)
   
8. Bubbles - Silly as it sounds, kids cannot throw a tantrum while there are bubbles floating around them. It's a proven fact.
9. Tissues - Runny noses are a fact of life so really you should keep a travel pack in your pocket. Who wants to dig around a diaper bag while their child gets smothered in boogers?
   

And finally don't go crazy with the toys. You do not have to pack the entire play room. A rattle and a pacifier for a baby. For the older kids a pad of paper and some crayons and perhaps stickers will do (essential if you are eating out)

If your child has a beloved 'Lovey' be it a blankie or bear you must be willing to vouch for it's safety by all means necessary. Whenever you leave an area do a 'Lovey Check' You do not want to be searching for a replacement that your little one will reject because they know it's just a rip off (I think it's the smell that clues them in, Lovies end up smelling like their kid - soap, dirt, snot, pee, and drool) If you want to play it extra safe as soon as your child chooses a favorite friend go buy another one and switch them periodically. That way each gets equally loved and you'll always have a back-up.

Los Angeles Zoo

The zoo is one of those places that just sounds so utterly fantastic. The name evokes images of childhood whimsy. Perhaps even a small child saying in a British accent 'Oh do say we can go to the zoo!' This is where those exotic beasts from childhood stories burst into life in front of your little one's eyes! Imagine your little one's face light up as he sees a monkey. A REAL monkey. For the first time! Your kiddo might even point and say 'ooh-ooh-ahh-ahh'

Okay. Reality check. The animals will be far away, out of view, asleep. Especially if you go on a HOT day. That brings me to the first rule. Never go to the LA ZOO on a hot day. Not only will the animals be MIA, your kids will be cranky. There are some shaded areas of the zoo. But to get there you need to walk in these fantastically large stretches of sunny openness. Did I mention the hills? Because you will, when you are pushing a stroller up the hills to get to the lion, who will be, you guessed it: asleep. All this and the zoo will be crowded. Yup. So you'll have to fight through the stroller brigade to get close enough to the wall, so you can hoist your little one on your shoulders so he can see the sleeping lion. And as a rule if the Lions are not sleeping then they are 'mating'

But that isn't to say that I don't like the LA ZOO. Quite the contrary. I think it's a lovely place. You just have to know when to go.

Early mornings or after 2. Weekdays if possible. Never on a holiday. Unless you enjoy crowds. Also worth noting: the zoo opens at 10am. Everyone seems to think it opens at 9am. It just seems like it's one of those places that should. But remember 10, 10, 10. If you forget and show up at 9am there's a great playground up the road and on the right (Shane's Inspiration Playground) where you can kill an hour or so.

Bring a stroller. Even if your child loves to walk everywhere. Even if you haven't used your stroller in years. There are lots of hills in the zoo, there is lots of walking. And eventually your little one's little feet will tucker out. And you don't want to rent an uncomfortable and expensive, hard to navigate, green plastic monstrosity of a stroller. If you have a child over the age of 2 invest in light weight, sturdy, umbrella stroller. Hey, if I'm wrong at least you'll have a place to put the diaperbag/purse/water bottle/sippy cup/lunch box.

Bring your own lunch. The food at the zoo is (1) way overpriced (2) cafeteria quality (3) kinda gross. Also, if you get any drink at the zoo please be advised that they do not give out straws or lids (bad if the animals got it)

You will enter through the main gate. To your right will be a family bathroom. If it's unoccupied and you have use for it, it's a great bathroom. If it's occupied, don't wait. People take a long long time this bathroom. If you need a bathroom NOW then keep going along the wall to the pubic restroom by the children's center. It is hardly used, since most people are waiting in line for the family bathroom.

After the bathroom the first thing you'll see is a HUGE amount of stairs. Remember stairs? The easy and quick way anywhere? Yeah. I miss stairs too. But luckily to the right of the stairs is a nice ramp system. But first you might want to check out the sea lion exhibit. The underwater view is on this first level. It's beautiful, tranquil, lovely. But skip the upper levels, the kids zoo offers a better view.

So once you're up the ramp to the left will be a Starbucks. Go ahead and get your caffeine on. Sometimes you'll even get lucky and they'll give you a lid! (I don't know why the strict no straw/lid rule sometimes does not apply here)

Then comes the first big test. The 'world village' It's a double sided row of gift shops. If you want to buy a souvenir I usually have the 'wait till we're done' rule about these places. If you don't want to buy anything then it's best to walk as quickly as you can through this gauntlet of capitalism. If you never go in then the little ones usually don't get that's an option. Just remember once you've gone in once they'll want to go in again and again. And they won't want to leave. That's why the waiting till the end of the trip works out well.

So you made it! You're in the zoo! Well, almost. To the right is the kids zoo. Here you can get up close and personal with a bunch of critters. Sometimes they'll have 'discovery booths' where you can pet a rabbit, or a snake, or look at a scorpion. There's a great sea lion exhibit. And some caves which can be a bit overwhelming for little ones (why the spooky soundtrack? Anyone?) The kids zoo also has a 'nursery' which sometimes houses baby animals. And also a petting zoo.

The petting zoo. You have to wash your hands before you enter. The animals you can pet are goats and sheep. There are also pigs and ponies and a donkey, but they are pinned up. If the goats/sheep go behind the rope then they are off limits. There are brushes but NO FOOD. Watch the kiddos closely because some resourceful tykes I know have actually picked up poop pellets to feed to the animals (please explain what these are and wash their hands thoroughly!)

The other place of interest is the Prairie Dog Perspective. Where you go through a cave and can stick your head up through a little plastic bubble into the prairie dog exhibit. Sounds great. Except for sometimes the bubbles are a bit dusty/dingy/cobwebby. This may affect your child. It might not.

I usually don't go for the children's show or the story time. While both are lovely, and worth trying once. They don't really change. The stage show involves pulling children out of the audience to act out an animal story.

They also have two special themed mommy and me programs you have to sign up for months in advance. Toddler Totes (age 2, 40 minutes, $13) and Critters N Kids (age 3-4, 90 minutes, $18) These programs include circle time, story time, hands on activities/crafts (for the older set) and a guided walking tour of the zoo)

The main zoo is very very large. Too large to go into that much detail. But here is a quick overview.

1) Flamingos - This is the first big exhibit you'll see. It will most likely smell. But the kids won't mind :)

2) Shuttle station- right next to the flamingos. Adults $4, kids $2, under 2 free. You can hop on and off all day. This is particularly worth the price if you want to go to the...

3) Bird show- which is way out of the way on the top of the highest hill you will ever climb in your life. It's a fun show, you're kids will enjoy the interactive training demonstration. Like any other animal show you've seen before. 11:30 and 2:00 (closed Tuesdays) There is a 3:30 show on weekends.

There is a children's choo-choo train located right next to the bird show (those cunning so and so's!) This costs $2 (last I checked). You and I both know that your kid will want to ride the train. It's bright and shiny and has animals on it! Decide now if you think this is a good idea. If so then explain how many rides in advance. If not then explain this in advance 'we're not riding the train today' you could follow it up with 'because we want to see the tigers!' or 'because we're late for the bird show!' or 'because I don't have any cash!' or 'because I said so' Then when you get there reiterate your point, and walk away quickly, changing the subject to something fun you're about to go see. The message you're getting across 'Yeah, there's a train, that's nice. Let's go see if the Tiger cubs are out!'

4) Rhinos and Tigers- the search. They really stuck these popular fellas at the WAY back of the zoo. If your kids want to see either of these favorites, hop back on the tram or walk up the hill. There is a playground (which you will inevitably spend some time at) Go through the park, and there is path to your left. Voila! Tigers and Rhinos, oh my!

5) Africa section. The highest point in the zoo (so the tram driver always says) This is where you will find the stars of the show. Monkeys, chimps, giraffes, elephants, lions, orangutan's, but NOT GORILLAS. The zoo is still building their impressive looking yet strangely Jurassic Park reminiscent Gorilla Reserve. They have been building it for a LONG TIME. In there is a lot of construction in the zoo, which offers confusing alternate paths. It will take you a trip or two to get your navigation straight.

6) The best exhibits in the zoo are the Giraffes, Chimps, and Orangutans. You will be shocked at how close you will get to the giraffes! Remember the whimsical zoo from the first paragraph. Yeah this is it. Get the camera ready. The chimpanzee's have a large exhibit. The viewing area is the PERFECT spot for lunch. Large steps facing the exhibit, just big enough to sprawl out on a blanket which you so cleverly packed. The Orangutans have their 'red ape forest' and the baby is beyond amusing.

7) The saddest exhibit. The elephant. I know they are building a new home for her. But really that little pen will make you very very upset. Just a warning.

8) When you finally find your way out of the Africa area, you'll find the Australia section. Don't miss the Komodo Dragon, even if it does just lie there it is pretty impressive. Plus the kids love saying they saw a dragon. The Koala is very hard to find, he's in the exhibit next to the kangaroos. Usually in the tree. Usually sleeping.

9) The last section before you go up yet another big hill so you can go home (you will really really hate that hill) is what can only be described as the water animal section. alligators, otters, etc.

Finally one of the best things you can do is ask the zoo attendants when and where the feedings will occur. The animals will be active and their caretakers will bestow upon you all sorts of interesting facts.

My last tip. Take your time. It's not a race. It's an experience. Enjoy yourself. Observe the animals. Spend more than a minute staring at them. Talk about them with your kids. Don't just read off the plaque (although that can be helpful at first) Wonder out loud about the animal. Try to figure out the answer. For older kids you might want to make a ZOO SCAVENGER LIST with pictures of the animals that they can check off. Be zoo explorers. The zoo, like most things in life, is what you make of it.

And don't be surprised if you see a peacock roaming around. It did not escape. It lives free.


LOCATION:
Griffith Park
5333 Zoo Drive
Los Angeles, CA 90027
lazoo.org

HOURS:
Daily 10am-5pm

COST:
$10 Adults
$5 Kids (2-12)
UNDER 2 FREE
Family Membership: $65

Welcome to the jungle, baby!

Going out with the kiddos always seems like a grand idea. But there's nothing more disappointing the getting everyone out of the house (no small feat) and surviving the drive while suppressing the urge to succumb to road rage when some idiot cuts you off (little ears) only to get to your destination and realizing that it's so lame even your 2 year old with his limited vocabulary tells you so.

And even if you LOVE the place, try finding the bathrooms with the big stalls and changing tables, or the elevators, or someplace to buy food that isn't from Ronald McDonald, all the while with little excited ones in tow.

I've been a professional Nanny in Los Angeles for over 5 years, and believe me if it's for kids I've been there! Let me guide you through the jungle of activities that you and your little ones will enjoy, and which ones just to skip.